Learn to Be Alone

As moms, we are ALWAYS surrounded by someone; the kids, our husbands, the dog, the cat. There is usually someone around us, it’s no wonder we crave some time to ourselves!

But what happens when we do have that opportunity to be alone? We constantly check in with our hubby to see how the kids are, we think of all the to-do’s our hubby’s should be doing, and so on.

We never just soak in the rare moments when we are completely alone. We never just shut off that mom brain, and enjoy the time without responsibilities.

In March I made a trip up to Saskatoon for a conference that focuses on creating powerful conversations to help Deaf and Hard of Hearing children listen and speak. I went up the night before after hubby was done work, and stayed in a hotel ALL BY MYSELF! It was my first time alone since being married (which is 7 years)!

Not even half hour into my trip, I start thinking of all the things my hubby needed to do. I know, typical mom! It didn’t help that we had 3 showings lined up the day I was out of town, and Brian was Mr. Mom for the night. So he had to feed the kids, and get out of the house with all 3 kids and the dog before the showings started.

So I called him to remind him. “Make sure the dog goes out to pee before you leave.” “Don’t forget a bottle, there is formula in the diaper bag.” “Tomorrow there’s a library program at 10:30, that Mr. L likes to go to.” He laughed, said “I know, enjoy your time away!”

So I listened to a few podcasts while I drove. One spoke about “Mom Fatigue Syndrome” and how we have learned to multitask, which has caused our brains to wire a little different. We are constantly looking out for our families, but never take time to truly focus 100% on ourselves or what makes us happy. It prevents us from ever being completely rejuvenated.

It was like a smack in the face! Here I was, driving ALONE, still managing my household, rather than focusing on some me time. There’s no wonder we moms don’t know what to do when we have the opportunity to be alone!

So when I arrived at the hotel, I went down to the pool area and sat in the hot tub. Left my phone in the room so I had no temptation to check in. I just sat and enjoyed being alone. I tried not to think about how my hubby was handling bedtime. I tried not to think about the showings. I just enjoyed being alone. I did think about business, but I find when I take even just a few minutes to contemplate and work on my business it relieves a lot of stress.

When I returned to my room, I ordered in some take out and flipped on HGTV. We don’t have cable, so whenever I can watch HGTV it’s my go to! Texted hubby asking how the bedtime routine went, did some work, and enjoyed the time alone. It was awesome!

The next morning I slept in, went and got breakfast. Brought it back to my room, and ate it in peace while watching HGTV before getting ready for the conference.

When I returned home later that day, I felt SO refreshed! I was able to love my children and my hubby just a little more because I was able to take some time for myself.

So the next time you have the opportunity to do something, completely alone. Do it. Do it without guilt. Do it without worrying. Just do it. All will be fine without you for a little while, and you can recharge.

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